03/26/02

2002 Predictions

Well, it’s that time of year again when we start looking forward to the race season and trying to decide what we think will happen and to whom. Each year I’ve made my predictions, sometimes bold, sometimes foolish and sometimes, very seldom actually, correct. My failures of last season weighed heavy on my mind all winter long and I wasn’t sure I could go through it again this year. The pressure of trying to decide someone’s life course, and possibly jinxing their season, is sometimes more than a regular guy can handle. But, I know that the readers are looking forward to this issue just to find out what I think and I can’t let you down, so here are my 2002 season predictions for whatever they are worth.

Last season I predicted that Phil Rowe would end the season with less hair than he started with. This season I predict that Lee Roy will not grow any more hair than he already has, and that Phil Rowe’s hair won’t matter to us any more than it did last year.

Last season I predicted two or three things about "Kaptain" Robbie Knievel. This season I predict that, with the exception of the occasional joke, this is the last time you’ll see his name in print.

Last season I predicted Mike Olsen would win a race. This season I predict that Stubby will come back at Thunder Road and spin Mike out before going on to win his only start of the year. (Wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t go out on a limb now and then).

Last season I predicted that the rookie of the year battle would be billed as "The battle of the sexes". This season I predict the biggest battle will be how fast Robbie Harrison can get through foot traffic to get to the NASCAR trailer to collect the ROTY winnings each week.

Last season I predicted I’d be served more warm beer in the state of New Hampshire. This season I predict I’ll be served more warm beer in the state of New Hampshire. Why is it that three out of every four restaurants in New Hampshire don’t seem to be able to chill beer properly? Ice is inexpensive and easy to make, folks, let’s get with the program!

Last season I predicted Paul Wolfe would win a race. This season I predict Paul will chew me out for jinxing him and taking away any chance of his winning a race last season.

I predict that at some point during the season, Bill Penfold and Tracy Gordon will _______ ____ ____ you fill in the blanks on this one!

I predict that that the season will consist of at least one less race this year and that we’ll go to the new Adirondack speedway instead of Star Speedway. Hey, I’m already out on a limb with the Stubby thing, I needed a couple of sure things for balance!

Last season I saw Andy Santerre riding a unicycle around the garage area at NHIS. This season I predict that Andy will be so busy going back and forth between North Carolina and New England that he will forget how to ride the unicycle.

I predict that although we’ll have a couple televised races this season and that those races will draw good size television audiences, there will still be a large segment of the BNS fans that will scream for more. NASCAR will listen and by the year 2004 all of our races will be at least 150 laps in length and will be televised on a major network. This will quiet all the detractors and make every fan happy so we can all live in harmony and prosperity. O.K., I know, I’m on the limb again.

As always, send Questions, Comments, Hate Mail, and Indecent Proposals to, Fish c/o Busch North Scene or e-mail them to fishy@cybertours.com