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New Years Resolutions

01/01/03

Well, here we are at the beginning of another New Year. Everything that has happened in the past 364 days is now totally cancelled out. We get a completely new start. I guess the big question on everyone’s mind right now is "What will I do differently in 2003" or "What will they do differently in 2003" or possibly "What do I hope that other people will do differently in 2003". This is the time of year that everyone always tries to set New Years resolutions. Most are lame, very few are ever kept and a fair amount of them only serve to tick others off, but you have to do it. It’s like a law. Every January first people that are normally sane sit down and go nuts trying to list the things they are going to change to try to improve themselves for the upcoming year.

I would feel irresponsible if I didn’t get involved in the resolution thing, myself. So here it is, my New Years resolutions. You’ll notice that each of my resolutions is followed by a resolution for someone else. The sole purpose of this is to make me feel better so, thanks, and if the shoe fits, wear it!

I resolve to make it to more BNS races this season. I missed a lot of races last season for various reasons and resolve to do better.

1a. All track owners should resolve to contact me at least one month prior to their race date and have it approved. I will only change it if there are unavoidable conflicts such as; My children’s sports, anticipated illnesses (including hangovers) and barbecues at camp.

I resolve to eat healthier and lose weight.

2a. In turn, all track concessions should resolve to serve lower sodium french-fries, no-calorie pizza and low fat burgers. This should help me tremendously.

I resolve not to make fun of, belittle, or mock anyone due to their lack of information or knowledge of any particular item. I will be more patient with everyone.

3a. This would be an excellent time for my wife to resolve to read a book on how to satisfy the wishes of a race-crazed husband. My kids should resolve to never ask for money, even when they need it desperately and have none, and any newspaper publishers I come into contact with on a regular basis should resolve to become more organized, more efficient, and should always pay close attention to what is going on simply to avoid having to ask stupid questions.

I resolve to be less critical of NASCAR’s officiating at some of the BNS races.

4a. The best way to help me out with this would be for NASCAR to issue me a rulebook for my perusal. When I’ve looked it all over, I’ll hi-light the parts I’d like changed in yellow and the really stupid rules that I’d like dropped altogether in pink. Once they have the rulebook fixed, all they’ll need to do is hook me up with a radio so that during the race I can help them along with any "Gray area" calls.

I resolve to stop stealing pens from track officials, race teams, media reps, etc. I have so many of them now that I may need to add a room in the house to hold them all.

5a. The aforementioned track officials, race teams, and media reps will want to resolve to keep said pens hooked with a cord to their collar or laptop to keep me in line.

I resolve to drink less beer this season, water is better for me and will promote weight loss better.

6a. To help me with this I think that all promoters should resolve to hold their races in the state of New Hampshire where it is impossible to find a cold beer.

I resolve to do a better and more professional job, this season, of reporting race results, facts, rumors, and information about the race teams, NASCAR, and the tracks involved with the BNS.

7a. If you believe that one, I’ve got a great deal for you on a bridge…

As always, send Questions, Comments, Hate Mail, and Indecent Proposals to, Fish c/o Busch North Scene or e-mail them to fishy@gwi.net